Tuesday, July 26, 2005

May MNF Rest In Peace

What in the name of Zombie Jesus is ESPN thinking putting Al Michaels in the booth with fucking Joe Theismann for Monday Night Football. With the flagging ratings that MNF has suffered over the past decade I don’t think putting the worst color-man in the business in the booth was the way too go. I’d love to have been in the meeting room when the suits at ESPN came up with this; “People we need to put some life into our new flag ship program Monday Night Football. Let’s start with some ideas for the play-by-play man?” Answer-“How about Al Michaels?” “Good idea, a natural fit. Now how about color man?” Answer-“How about a young fresh up and comer who does good analysis and deserves a shot.” “Are you a retard Johnson people don’t want that, we need to give the viewers a inept analyst who is so devoid of any semblance of competency that he will drive away the knowledgeable and fringe fans by the bus load. We need someone who talk through live play, misidentify players and fail to keep viewers interested. Any ideas?” Answer-“How about Joe Theismann?” “Perfect call, see Johnson that’s the kinda of asshole thinking that is going to ruin this program. Plus Theismann is already on the payroll so it’s easier for HR”

I’ve seen Theismann, listened to Theismann and I despise Theismann. He is a disgrace to all more talented broadcasters and the biggest douche in football telecasting (and that includes Phil Simms). He and Paul Maguire are intolerable to listen too for anything longer than the first five minutes of the game and now that he is by himself he’ll just flap his gums that much longer. At least he isn’t on the draft’s coverage anymore.


Way to go ESPN you just made MNF worse too watch than it was at the end of the Dennis Miller experiment. If you really want people to watch your only weekly game I have the answer, pay attention this one is really an outlandish idea. Get good commentators who will talk about the game and only the game. No pumping this retarded poker craze, no more shots of the stupid fucking horse trailer or useless chitchat about how good Desperate Housewives is because nobody watching gives a monkey scrotum about that shit. Michaels will be fine it’s Theismann that will sink your ship. Replace him with an early Matt Milen type who can talk competently about line play, will analyze and predict plays and will study the teams films before he gets into the booth instead of eating meals with every member of the two teams coaching staffs and passing that off as analysis (yeah I talking about you Theismann). Do this and you’ll make a mint, do it not and you will go down quicker than a hooker on two for one night.

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